Goodbye PawPaw

PawPaw with my Family at My Wedding (07.09.05)

My PawPaw, Leroy Bardwell (my mother's father), passed away on Thursday, December 31, 2009 at the age of 87 (born February 9, 1922). We celebrated his life on January 2, 2009 in Durant, Oklahoma where he was laid to rest. He lived a long fulfilled life. He lost his battle, which started with gallbladder surgery, a massive stroke, and pneumonia on New Years Eve.

I will always cherish the memories of my grandfather. He was a loving father, grandfather, and great-grandfather (G-Paw to his grandsons). He was a wonderful gardener and an incredible dancer. I will always remember him teaching me how to do the waltz, he was so graceful on the dance floor. He danced up until he had his gallbladder surgery and had plans to return to the Dance Hall once he got well. I find comfort knowing that he is dancing from cloud to cloud in heaven.

I wrote a poem that I shared at his funeral about the day, December 27, 2009, that I had to say goodbye to my PawPaw. I would like to thank Kimberly, my sister-in-law, for helping put my feelings on paper.

As I walked in the room using all of my strength,

Knowing the hardest job I had to do was to say goodbye.

With tear filled eyes, I sat by your side

And took your hand in mine.

As I began to reflect on all of our years,

tears flowed down my cheeks and my heart swelled in my throat.

Your steely blue eyes looked deeply into mine

and you gave me a squeeze with your warm hand.

Without a word you comforted me,

Giving me the strength to whisper goodbye and tell you one last time that

"I love you PawPaw".

You gave my hand one last squeeze telling me goodbye and that you love me too.

I would like to thank those that came to support my family at my PawPaw's funeral, as we were coping with our lose. Long time friends...Carey & David Durham, Mark & Suzanne Marsden, Jennifer Marsden Mitchell, Don & Valerie Sorenson. Coworkers of my mom...Denise, Mary K, Sandra, and Cynthia. We truly appreciate you taking the time to come to the funeral.

I would also like to thank my husband, Mark, for recording and creating the dvd tribute that the grandchildren (Cousin Billy, Jason, Ryan, and I) made for PawPaw. It was absolutely beautiful. I would also like to thank him for being my rock through all of this. Mark, thank you so much for all of your love and support through this difficult time.

Give your grandparents a gentle squeeze of the hand to show them that you care every time you see them, give your parents a longer embrace, give your siblings a pat on the back to let them know that you are here for them, give your husbands more meaningful kisses, treasure every minute with your children, let everyone around you know that you love them with all of your heart because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Thanks again for everyone's love and support that you have shown our family.

I am going to share the lyrics of a song that will stay with me forever. It was played at my grandfather's funeral. It is "When I get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton.

When I get where I'm going

on the far side of the sky.

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion

and run my fingers through his mane.

Or I might find out what it's like

to ride a drop of rain.

Yeah, when I get where I'm going,

there'll be only happy tears.

I will shed the sins and struggles,

I have carried all these years.

And I'll leave my heart wide open,

I will love and have no fear.

Yeah, when I get where I'm going,

Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my grandaddy,

and he'll match me step for step,

and I'll tell him how I missed him,

every minute since he left.

Then I'll hug his neck.

So much pain and so much darkness.

in this world we stumble through.

All these questions I can't answer,

so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,

and I see my Maker's face.

I'll stand forever in the light,

of His amazing grace.

Yeah when I get where I'm going,

Yeah when I get where I'm going,

there'll be only happy tears.

Hallelujah!

I will love and have no fear.

When I get where I'm going.

Yeah, when I get where I'm going.

I will always love you PawPaw!

Love, Tiffany